Learning to Re-Drive in England

Everyone knows that driving in England is an entirely different experience than what we Americans are use to, right? They drive on the different side of the road then we do, their steering wheels are on the different side of the car, and their cars are itty bitty to go with their itty bitty, narrow roads. My giant Ford Expedition (seating 8 adults comfortably) would not fly here. As it was, our 520 BMW felt too big to drive here without always feeling like I was scraping things on the left hand side. Although I miss the bells and whistles of the BMW (and the automatic engine), I feel better driving in our VW Tiguan now-higher up and not as wide.

Now notice I didn't say the "wrong" side of the road or the "wrong side of the car" where the steering wheel is...it isn't wrong, it's just different to us. Luckily, we have had a year to get our British driving license and are able to drive on our US license until the year anniversary date comes around. I can't imagine moving here and having to immediately take the driving test whilst getting everyone settled, in school and the house unpacked. That would have been majorly stressful.

So we are approaching our first year anniversary in Feb/March so we knew we had get on the details of getting our UK licenses. Of course, none of this is easy or seamless. It's bureaucracy at it's worst! First, we have to get a provisional license which means we have to send in our passports and the needed paperwork. Finding the time when we would not need our passports for at least a month proved to be difficult, not to mention how unsettling it is to send our passports off to a government agency! Luckily we had a tight window in November, after our trip to Rome but before Africa, to send it all in!

Once we had the actual provisional license, we could book an appointment to take the first of two tests, the Theory test (essentially the written test in US terms). Now I don't know if it has been sooo long since I got my US license at 16, but I do not remember the US written test being so detailed. The UK requires people to of course know the rules of the road and the road signs, but also vehicle maintenance, first aid, rules for horses, motorcycles, pedestrians, bicycles and towing a trailer. When in the hell am I going to be riding a motorcycle, towing a trailer or a horse in England?? We downloaded a copy of the Theory test software as well as The Highway Code handbook and began studying (revising they say here).  As well as the 50 multiple choice questions, you have to watch 14 video clips simulating real life driving situations and click on all of the hazards that could/would develop in the video clip-essentially like a video game shooting the bad guys.

I took at least 10 mock tests and passed 8 out of 10. Pete had taken his test already and had just passed so I was feeling confident about taking the test. Some of the multiple choice questions were so unbelievably silly that I thought there is no way any idiot could not pass this test. Questions like: "You come upon an accident scene. What two things should you not do:
a.) keep the injured person calm
b.) offer them a cigarette to calm their nerves
c.) call for emergency help
d.) offer them a drink

Seriously? Who is not going to get that question right? I realize I need to pretend I am an 18 year old British kid when taking this test but surely even an 18 year old can answer that question right. So off I went to take my Theory test 4 weeks ago. And that's when it went horribly wrong. Who's the idiot now?

As soon as I began, I knew I was screwed. I had at least 10 questions (passing was 43/50) I was unsure of-all having to do with vehicle maintenance, towing a trailer and documentation needed for said trailers. I answered the ones I knew and then went back to the questionable ones and tried to logically take out the wrong answers thus leaving me with 1 or 2 good guesses (back to the SAT days!) I got 9 questions incorrect and thus failed my Theory test. I was livid! After making fun of the stupid questions on Facebook and making everyone laugh? Dum dum Jen! That's what happens when you get American cocky!

So I had to book another appointment, pay another £31 to re-take the test and begin revising again on the Theory software. This time I gave particular attention to vehicle maintenance/safety and trailer rules. I took a million mock tests and passed them all. By this time I was a walking encyclopedia of The Highway Code.

So back I went, my tail between my legs, with a new found respect for the Theory test (not really). This time I passed with flying colors (48/50 yo!) and I am now able to book my new nemesis ---bom, bom, bom...the Practical Driving Test!

But first both Pete and I needed to brush up on our British driving skills and find out what is expected of us as British drivers. Now we both have been driving here for almost 11 months, not to mention the 28+ years of driving experience we each have under our belts, so we feel pretty good going into the lessons. We both realize we probably have been doing some things wrong whilst driving here and we just need some "fine tuning", right?? Well, not so fast bucko!

Turns out we need to completely re-learn how to drive a car here, with particular attention payed to the EMERGENCY BRAKE. The E-brake is used in almost every manoeuvre here in the UK. Pete was the first to have his lesson and he came home in a panic! "We are doing it all wrong, we need to practice, we need to know how to reverse into a teeny tiny parking spot, we are signalling incorrectly, we need to use our mirrors, we need our e-brake in all moves...we need to know how to do a 3-point turn!" Well, I know how to do a 3-point turn, easy peasy! Well guess what, I do not know how to do a 3-point turn British-style!

3-Point Turn British Style (Hey Sexy Lady-sorry couldn't resist!)

1. E-brake engaged, shift to 1st gear, check all mirrors, turn and check both blind spots, release e-brake and s-l-o-w-l-y make your first turn
2. stop, engage e-brake up, shift into reverse,  check all mirrors, turn and check both blind spots, release e-brake and s-l-o-w-l-y reverse into your second turn
3. stop, engage e-brake up, shift into 1st gear,  check all mirrors, turn and check both blind spots, release e-brake and s-l-o-w-l-y move into your 3rd turn, pull up on the side of the road, stop, engage e-brake and shift into neutral, take foot off the brake

Wow. That is a lot just to turn around in the middle of the road.

Not to mention the use of the e-brake at any stop light or stop when you are stopped for more than 3 seconds. E-brake on, in neutral, foot off the brake so as not to "dazzle" the other drivers behind you with your brake lights. Really? To me it just seems to be a lot of "messing around" and "looking down" when you should be looking up, ready to drive and get going.

Now, I really am not making fun of British driving rules. They aren't wrong, they are just different. My first lesson went pretty well but I did practice my 3 point turn about 10 times and still didn't get it right. I thought I knew how to parallel park too but, guess what? I don't. You can only use the mirrors and you need to keep both hands on the wheel-no slinging your one hand over the passenger seat and turning to look where you are going. Nope, it's all about the mirrors.

Believe it or not, some people have said I am ornery. Really? Me? I have had several bosses call me ornery. I don't know why. But suffice it to say that Steve, my driving instructor, probably thinks I am a tad ornery. The entire length of my 2 hour lesson I am asking why we use the e-brake so much, when would I need to turn around in the middle of the road, etc...I am sure he hates me.

*So wish us luck on the next bit of our UK driving experience as we both try and pass the Practical test with flying colours! I'll keep you posted!

*Update: I wrote this blog awhile ago after my first driving lesson. I was afraid of posting the blog because I did not want to jinx us! Flash forward a couple of weeks and I am happy to report that Pete and I have both past the driving test! It was not without drama, a failed first go (won't name names) and at least $900 was spent getting us to the testing centre 40 minutes away because the one closest to us was booked out 10 weeks in advance and we had about 4 weeks to get this all done!

So it is over with now. Back to driving the "right" way :-)